I will likely never forget. Although this wasn’t my first, this was definitely my defining moment.
This was the last vacation for a while, as I began a trek on what I would later call the worst mistake of my life.
4 days in the Dominican Republic, with 3 other women. One I knew. Two I didn’t.
I didn’t care who would be on the trip. I get along with practically anyone…..I was just ready to go!
I’d just quit my “dream job” and decided to move back home…..horrible mistake that I am still paying for.
**fast forward**
The trip was amazing. The water was warm. The people were beautiful and the positive vibes were everywhere!! I needed that more than I knew.
There, I was able to be free. I didn’t have to worry about the cares of life. I wasn’t bombarded with news about another black men being killed. No phone calls from draining family members. Just me fully immersed in me.
There, I was accepted. There nobody paid me any attention….in a good way!
In being Black in America, there are things one subconsciously deals with on a daily basis that can be exhausting.
For Example: I realize not every white person is racist. That’s a no brainer. One of my bffs is white (talk about cliche- but it is true).
However, at home, I never know which Doctor will ask the white student for direction – when I’m obviously the one in charge. I never know which patient will mistake me for a janitor and ask to speak to “someone” about their impending exam. I never know which one will verbally attack me with subliminal condescending comments. I never know which one will attempt to test and or insult my intelligence. I never know when I will be put on the spot to answer questions about my body habitus and or hair texture. Oh! And my all-time favorite – I never know when a coworker will have an obviously inappropriate black joke and attempt to haphazardly throw the word nigger around for the sake of solidifying the joke.
Not that I feel that I have something to prove. But I NEED to plug the dam before it burst. I have accepted the fact that I am responsible for the perception others have of myself and other people of color. I can’t expect someone to do the push up for me. If I allow this to slide, I will simultaneously make it easier for their next witless comment and harder for the next person of color who has to endure such bullshit! Because of this, my guard is continuously up and that can be extremely exhausting.
But here….I experienced none of that. I didn’t have to bare that cross. The burdens were light. Hell, there were no burdens!! Unless you want to count, determining which mixed drink I wanted to try next.
This was the first time, I wasn’t the minority and it felt GREAT! We were just allowed to live.
Against the advice of our Caucasian colleagues we left the resort and wondered beyond the walls, without the covering of the special forces….which ultimately took our experiences to another level!
There our blackness was celebrated. We heard “sister”, “queen”, “my people”, and “my color” everywhere we went. And it wasn’t in the form of a cat call, but more in the form of an assertion. Words still can’t speak on what those words of affirmation did to my mental psyche. They wanted us. The accepted us with open arms without hesitation!!
I begin to question the validity of the new outlets. What I was seeing didn’t correlate to the propaganda being spewed into the homes of Americans…..
How could this be?! My family and I watched Tom Brokaw, while eating dinner for years!!!
It was then, that I realized the reason people awaken is because they have finally stopped agreeing to the things that insults their soul. Miriam Beard wrote that travel is more than the seeing of sights. It is a change that goes on, deep and permanent in the ideas of the living.
This feeling of liberation, this awakening, this release…. was something new but I liked it
…..it was then that I began searching for my next hit
xo
Adventures Before The Ring 